Red out loud by me in the intensity and emotion it was meant to be shared.
HOW TO FIND YOUR PERFECT PARTNER
Sorry but it’s not gonna happen, there is no such thing as a perfect partner!
Lots of us struggle to find or keep someone significant in our lives.
The social pressure is also not fun. To say the least.
Every time you here your friends or family fire of the dreaded questions. Hows
your love life dear? When am i going to get grand kids? Are you okay, you look lonely?
There are a couple of main reasons so many of us find it hard to find an idle partner.
I will try to explain my take on the situation and give some fixes, hopefully.
1 Search for completion
This one is perhaps the most common one. When we look for someone else to complete us, to make us whole. We are letting our self esteem and worth hang from someone else’s approval.
This is obviously not a healthy way of being. Putting all your worth into the hands of another, makes you very vulnerable. And it takes away from you as a person. When you need someone else’s love or approval to feel good or even worth a damn. You become very needy, weak and try hard, to get whatever approval you can get.
We all know that try hard, needy person, who just needs our attention and approval. Now that is by no means sexy or attractive but it is damn handy to have someone who will do anything for your approval, get it?!
2 Search for the perfect one
The perfect one can not exist no matter how hard you try to believe it, it will not happen.
Everybody has flaws. If your partner has asset A then he will most probably not have asset B.
If he has asset B he will not have asset A. the grass is always greener on the other side and when
you get to the other side you realize that the grass on your original side had a better view.
3 Social Pressure
The pressure from some families and cultures for you to find the special one, right now kan be quite hard. When you have your worth tangled into the image, that you need to have a relationship, you might just jump the gun on the proposal or just stay with that partner you don’t really love. Just because of the pressure.
4 Unreal expectations
We want all kinds of attributes in our partners. like good physical health. That they have a mission in life. And we expect that a outdoorsy, active go-getter, will want to sit on the couch and binge on series with us. That is just unrealistic.
HOW TO FIX IT
1 FIX FOR COMPLETION PROBLEM
This issue is very important for your whole life not just your romantic life. When you get this handled everything else will almost automatically fall into place. You need to start loving yourself, Understand that no one can determine your worth. Because no one knows you like you.
You need to start cultivating happiness and self love. Realize there is nothing else than you.
You are already complete, you just forgot. Go deep into the past and you will find the truth.
You will find you.
Quite frankly a relationship is the last thing you need right now. Work on you. Like it or not, the most important person in your life is you. You can’t escape yourself you’re always right there. Accept yourself fully, the good things and the bad. Don’t judge yourself, just love yourself.
2 THE PERFECT ONE FIX
Like is said earlier, there is no such thing as a perfect partner. Just realizing that, will help you tremendously. Just make sure that you match your core beliefs. The 3 or 4 most important values or beliefs that you need to have fulfilled, in order to be you at your best. That’s the only thing that really matters. For me for example my core beliefs/values are, 1 growth oriented 2 positivity 3 no judgement, pure love.
3 SOCIAL PRESSURE FIX
Once you handled 1 the fix for completion, this one is automatically fixed. You know that your worth is not determined by any relationship or what anybody might think of that.
What’s to be expected at a certain age and phase in your life does not matter to you. Because you know you’re exactly where you need to be and you’re just fine.
4 UNREAL EXPECTATIONS FIX
Just realize that if you are a couch potato with no ambition in life, that’s fine. but you can’t expect
Someone who is ambitious, growth orientated and want to achieve things, to want the same things as you or even be in a relationship with you. If you want someone like that, you need to be like that yourself. If you’re not like that, then you need someone with your values. No judgement here. Just realize these dynamics are in play.
THE ONLY THING YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW
Love yourself, realize you are already complete. You only have to remember.
Go deep into yourself. You will know there is no alone, there is only one. Meditate on it,
You’ll find this to be true.
Just create a full and happy life alone, first. when you are happy with you and your life, then
Make it even more awesome with someone you love in your life.
Go out and meet people be open spontaneous and fun, say yes to things you would normally
say no to, you never know what awesome adventure you will have and what
beautiful people you will meet.
find like minded people who are more likely to match with your core values by, going to events,
meetups, activities, classes that you really enjoy. And where your type of person will hang out.
Find out what your core values are the values that are at the core of who you are
Those values that NEED to be met in order for you to be who you are. There should only be 3 to 4 max.
you only have to align your core values, with those of your partner.
This will set up the boundaries of your life together work within those boundaries, the rest is trivial noise. Does it really matter if your partner cleans his or her apartment 2 times a day or 1 every 2 weeks?
Do you long for completion by someone else? Why do you think that is?